Gratitude.

My gratitude list for the day was pretty long. On those tough days where things seem to be falling apart I try to stop and make myself a gratitude list. I sometimes have to even write silly things on there just to remind myself that I have plenty to be grateful for. Today it was much easier...as today marked the one year mark for the devastating tornado that struck Joplin. At first I was thanking God for my loved ones, stuff, and sanity...then I was thanking him for showing me his power both in my life and in the lives around me. As the day went on tho work caught up to me and I began to lose sight of the things I started my day being grateful for. I started thinking about the list of chores at home, how I missed my dad and step mom who had just left to go back home, my lack of money for things such as putting the kids in extra activities, and just how tired I was. I started listening to those who were near me talk of their woes and started wondering how I was going to fix mine. I found out recently about a change that I felt would affect my little family of three for the bad. I started wondering how I was going to afford one thing or another and how I was going to be able to continue to be the amazing person I knew I could be in all the areas I was needed. I came home stressed out and angry and began to be short tempered with the children. My face started getting hot and then I got sick....sick to my stomach. After checking my temp and realizing that a fever what what I had I laid down. I was FORCED to not do anything I had planned and simply take a break. I began to think even more while I was laying down. I started remembering how well I do when I take control instead of let Christ lead me. I think it is funny how those moments can change your thought process so quickly. One can go from looking at situation A B and C in complete darkness to looking at A B and C as a stepping stone to the future for the good. I am sure it sounds so cheesy to some of you and I would have said the same thing a few years ago. It is moments like these that I get one of those reality checks. You know...like the ones where your parents would slap your mouth for just "sounding like you had attitude" yet you had no idea what they were talking about. It is one of those completely unexpected feelings/thoughts. I began to think about where I was 6 months ago...how excited I was for this change to come into my life. How hard I worked to get back at a job I loved and a situation which I felt content. I started remembering all the amazing people in my life who tell me constantly to just ask if I need anything and how stubborn I am when I choose not to do so. I was in the middle of praying for an answer when all it took was an attitude adjustment to see it was already there. No, things are not how they "NEED" to be in MY eyes...but they are in His eyes and as far as I am concerned that is good enough. I shall move onto bigger and better worries...like how to get these fever down and WILL this sickness that just hit me away....