Single....parent....pity

At times I wonder if some of the events we get invited too are simply because of pity. I try to remind myself that I am a pretty decent human and people like my company but at times that isn't enough.

I moved to Missouri at a time when I acted on impulses without a second thought and when I had no true responsibilities. I moved here in love with a man whom probably wasn't as great as my young heart wanted to believe.

Fast forward a few years....

I have Taylor, become a single mom and then take in a teenager as well. I know that in Missouri I have an amazing support system with amazing friends but in reality as a single mom with no "other half" it's tough. My daughter doesn't get to see grandparents at holidays or on weekends and I get to feel like a pity invite at most functions. Life is meant for single people with no kids or families with both parents. Big adventures can be almost impossible at times.

I remember going to visit grandparents during the holidays. I remember my Grandma Jans Ham at Christmas and summer playing skipbo with Grandma Stewart. I can't help feel heart broken that my daughter will be four and I can count on one hand the amount of visits she has had with family.

I keep praying that He shows me why I'm supposed to stay here or a way for me to be closer to home.

Until then I'll remember that God has a reason for this venture and Im sure it's way bigger then I could ever dream of.

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