You better knock on someone elses door...

Well, the last few weeks of emotions have been way more then enough. I have been looking for a house, dealing with DFS regarding Justin, taking on more responsibilities in one area and letting go of some in others. I've been financially strapped yet have been blessed with all our NEEDS met. I've shred for help when needed....yup ME asking for help! I have also walked away from one of my "cups of red soup".
I realized during all this that my mental illness it still there and too much change is the number one cause of bringing it all out again.
I have learned over the years that I can be a functioning member of society no matter what I was told in those institutions but that I will battle my mental illness forever.
I used to be ashamed to admit how sick I really was at one point and how hard it is to stay away from those "habbits" but nowv I look at it all like just another card I was dealt. I know there are others who struggle with severe mental illnesses and who feel the same as I do. I am so glad that today I see the good in it more then the bad. Those old habits will always affect me just in different ways. Today, the scars on my arms and legs remind me of where I once was and allow me to truly understand the pain others go through when they battle these "issues".
Over stressind and obsessing has been my downfall the last few weeks and although it's not gone yet at least I am able to see what is causing it and that there is an end to it....eventually.
:) Thanks for reading.

Everyone has stressers.....

So, although I try to be optimistic about things sometimes you just get overwhelmed. Between my ovairan cyst causing me not to be able to work as much as I need, to my lack of money to pay bills, there is the worry of being able to hold my temper when I'm so tired from no sleep and overwhelming pain. I have doctors appointments, other commitments, school, 2 kids, regular household chores and mommy duty all while trying not to freak out about what is going on with my health. There are roommate stressers (even tho my roomies are awesome), financial stressers and every day friend stresses. In the last two years I have been lied too and kicked down by "close friends". I have had to go from being in a six year relationship to becoming a single mom who has to work and do it all on her own while dealing with a crszy thieving man and his "new wife". I try to look at everything on the positive side but every once in awhile we all have our moments and should give ourselves time to feel, grieve, and just ride the waves of emotions because ignoring feelings is never healthy. Today is one of those days. I'm giving myself a set amount of time and then jumping off this pitty pot.
I try to keep a gratitude list and remember that this too shall pass.
So today I am going to remind
myself to breath... Take a few moments to feel... And then breath.